Life and Death - There is no way to "fix it"

This was written almost exactly three years ago... Fe will be NINE in just over 2 WEEKS! FB keeps reminding me I have this blog... Tonight I decided to try to log back in! Thank you auto save, but also, I REMEMBERED the login and password!!


Written January 2016:

Life and Death. Both happen. We all know both happen, but that doesn't make it any easier to handle. As an adult I can accept and understand that both happen. However, I still get sad and angry when death happens to those I love or even those I know of.

I'm not sure if it is the season or what... But I feel like every day I hear of yet one more person, whether it be famous or someone I somehow know, has passed. Maybe I am just more aware because I own grandmother is currently in the end stages of life. She has been in and out of the hospital for a few months now, but in the last few weeks her organs have began to slow at a much rapid pace. A couple days ago Hospice was called in. She is finally without pain and eat what ever she wants! This is a happy thing for her since she has been on such a restricted diet for so long.
I don't want her to hurt anymore, I want her to pass in peace and happy. I believe she will. She has had so many visitors in the last week. Every day she gets to see family members that she might not see as often on a normal basis!

The time now is as pleasant as any could be surrounding the impending outcome.

The hardest part is not me losing my grandmother. One difficult moment for me is helping my father through losing his mother. The absolute hardest part is what, when, and how to I tell my children... My four and a half year old son and my almost six (in 2 weeks) year old daughter.
My grandmother lived (I only use past tense because she is now residing at the rehab) with us! Almost any day they wanted they could knock on her "apartment" door and see their great grandmother at anytime. They now know that Mamma is living somewhere else "because she needs more help".

We have not kept them in the dark but we are also shielding them as best we can. But they already miss her. They know SOMETHING is different. They know that the rest of the family members are stressed and sad. They see that extended family is coming over more often lately. They see that we are talking about things on Mamma's side of the house. They know that they are asked to go play in a different room so the adults can talk.

I know they have heard more than I want them to yet. I know that they are also stressed.

What I don't know is how to fix it. Because there is no way to "fix it"

I know that we all will be ok. I just don't know how.