Life and Death - There is no way to "fix it"

This was written almost exactly three years ago... Fe will be NINE in just over 2 WEEKS! FB keeps reminding me I have this blog... Tonight I decided to try to log back in! Thank you auto save, but also, I REMEMBERED the login and password!!


Written January 2016:

Life and Death. Both happen. We all know both happen, but that doesn't make it any easier to handle. As an adult I can accept and understand that both happen. However, I still get sad and angry when death happens to those I love or even those I know of.

I'm not sure if it is the season or what... But I feel like every day I hear of yet one more person, whether it be famous or someone I somehow know, has passed. Maybe I am just more aware because I own grandmother is currently in the end stages of life. She has been in and out of the hospital for a few months now, but in the last few weeks her organs have began to slow at a much rapid pace. A couple days ago Hospice was called in. She is finally without pain and eat what ever she wants! This is a happy thing for her since she has been on such a restricted diet for so long.
I don't want her to hurt anymore, I want her to pass in peace and happy. I believe she will. She has had so many visitors in the last week. Every day she gets to see family members that she might not see as often on a normal basis!

The time now is as pleasant as any could be surrounding the impending outcome.

The hardest part is not me losing my grandmother. One difficult moment for me is helping my father through losing his mother. The absolute hardest part is what, when, and how to I tell my children... My four and a half year old son and my almost six (in 2 weeks) year old daughter.
My grandmother lived (I only use past tense because she is now residing at the rehab) with us! Almost any day they wanted they could knock on her "apartment" door and see their great grandmother at anytime. They now know that Mamma is living somewhere else "because she needs more help".

We have not kept them in the dark but we are also shielding them as best we can. But they already miss her. They know SOMETHING is different. They know that the rest of the family members are stressed and sad. They see that extended family is coming over more often lately. They see that we are talking about things on Mamma's side of the house. They know that they are asked to go play in a different room so the adults can talk.

I know they have heard more than I want them to yet. I know that they are also stressed.

What I don't know is how to fix it. Because there is no way to "fix it"

I know that we all will be ok. I just don't know how.

When did this happen?

                                                             Seriously, when?
We have two children in school! How are my children old enough to be in school? My daughter is in kindergarten and LOVES school! We started the year off with my driving her in and picking her up... But then I started a new job (crossing guard at her school)! She now takes the bus into and home from school! She has friends that are not her brother and are different than her brother's friends. SEPARATE FRIENDS, this means SEPARATE birthday invites!  My son, he started preschool... He only goes three mornings a week, but I still can't deal with BOTH of my children being in school! He LOVES school also! HOMEWORK! It's not difficult homework, just making sure the kids and parents are reading mostly. She is determined to learn how to read! It's amazing to see the determination in her.
My son, he started preschool... He only goes three mornings a week, but I still can't deal with BOTH of my children being in school! He LOVES school also!

Random ramble from a chaotic mind

Get those kids OUTSIDE!

Kids (even adults) need fresh air and sunshine!

Random ramble about child innocence... Fear vs Kindness

I love the innocence, determination, and imagination of a child! Watching my two children play together with such enthusiasm and kindness brings joy and hope to my heart. Children have a clear view on what is truly important.

Summer-time and sweatshirts

Mother Nature in New England is a  funny thing; 40-50* with sweatshirts and jeans in the morning then 70-80+* with tank-tops and shorts in the afternoon!

Date night... Or day, is IMORTANT!

 Remember to take time out of your day for yourself and just enjoy what is!
Find something you love and do more of it!

I have some pretty awesome kids,

but every so often my sanity and marriage needs to take an adult break from them. That is easier said than done/remembered.

BE YOURSELF! Re-Launch Time!

Here we go with my attempt at a blog re-launch. As much as I enjoy Mary Poppins and her words of wisdom, I mean really "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocios" really is the perfect word to "say when you have nothing to say". But then... if you have nothing to say, why blog?!